que sera sera…

My Christmas partying has officially started! And what better way than to spend it with fellow Pinoys who are, like me, away from home, in a foreign Muslim country…

Tonight, I joined for the first time a Christmas party for Pinoys in Jakarta, hosted by the Philippine Ambassador. When I arrived at the Ambassador’s house, Jose Mari Chan’s Christmas in Our Hearts was blaring on the sound system — very typical of Pinoys indeed! It was very heartwarming to see Filipino families trying to capture that essence of “Pasko sa Pinas”. Of course, there was the usual community singing, parlor games, exchange gifts, and the salu-salo! I guess the highlight of the party were the lechon and the San Miguel beer!!! The Pinoys here are a little outdated though – there was still a competition for Bom Tarat Tarat dancing hehehe J. AND by the way, I finally got the chance to see in person this Pinoy singer who is quite popular among Indonesians…I’m referring to Maribeth! I’ve never heard of her back home but apparently she is very popular here in Indonesia. Uhm…

Anyway, the party was nice and fun – it made me review my countdown. 12 more days and I’ll be on board PAL bound for Manila, one more day and I’ll be flying off to CDO J Cant wait to be home….

**For the first time in my 2 years here, I’ll get to “celebrate” Christmas in the office too J Thanks to the initiative of the 2 “heavy” beauties – Etha and Yussy. I think for the past 2 or 3 days, all they did was go over all those cake designs, I wonder if they have finally decided which one to order.

This piece is a month overdue. I wanted to write about this topic right after my trip to Philippines last January, but never got to doing it.

Do I consider myself an OFW? I don’t. I honestly don’t. I know I fall under the category of an “Overseas Filipino Worker” but every time I travel to ‘Pinas and queue in the Immigration – I never use the OFW lane – because I don’t think and I don’t feel as one.

Why? I hope I won’t get arrested for this – I am working overseas, I got all my proper working documents (employment contract, visa, residential permit, multiple entry-exit permit, etc etc) but I never registered back in Philippines to work outside the country. I don’t know the process, I’m not sure about the process or its benefits, I don’t even know if it is really required for all overseas workers — and I just didn’t bother to find out what it is all about.

As I am writing this, I google the POEA or the Philippines Overseas Employment Administration, the agency responsible for OFWs and tried to check what benefits I can get by registering. All I can find is by having an Overseas Employment Certificate, I can get a travel tax exemption (and of course, I can add to the ever raising statistics of OFWs). Hmmm, that’s P1,620 savings BUT is it worth the hassle of going to POEA, submitting lists of documents, and worst the queuing etc etc etc. I haven’t seen the office but I can already tell what it would look like.

I was chatting with a friend who works in France and I asked him whether he ever registered in POEA — and I was relieved to know I am not alone. Yeah, it’s bad but we share the same sentiment. We’d rather pay the travel tax than go through all that hassles. We have proper documents to go out of the country and no one is stopping us, anyway. In my one year here in Jakarta, I’ve traveled to ‘Pinas five times – and each time, no one ever asked me or pointed out to me the need to register in POEA. So….

Well – if somebody can tell me a better benefit, perhaps I would reconsider – and register….next time I am home and have the luxury of time…

Part 2 coming….

I’ve been tagged!

And since it’s Friday night and I basically have nothing to do — I’ll accept Kuya Jim’s favor and continue this chain blogging about 10 little known facts or weird things/habits about ourselves. After this, I will tag six other bloggers and ask them to do the same. No tagbacks are allowed!

I hope I can come up with 10 things! Here goes…

1. I was an accident prone when I was a kid! As a result of too much running around with my brother’s friends in our neighborhood – I often get hurt, bruised and twice I got a very big cut in my face (forehead and then right side cheek) which required several stitches! The stitches are not visible anymore but during sudden weather change, it is very itchy and usually turns very red!

2. I was not given any anaesthetic when I got stitched up both times! In fact, I remembered watching “John n Marsha” (Dolphy and Nida Blanca!) while the doctor was doing the stitches. Starting then, everybody kept saying I’ll be a doctor someday! Sorry guys – I don’t very well care for bloody stuffs nor did I dream of wearing that white coat!

3. I was five years old when I delivered my first speech! It was a valedictory address for my kindergarten graduation! Looking back, I cannot remember being scared or nervous that time – in fact, I think I was excited and looking forward to memorize my piece in front of so many people, in my hometown’s public plaza! However, as I got older I just avoid public speaking as much as I could. Yeah – I’m in the communication business – but I’d rather be in the background writing than in front speaking! The last time I addressed an audience, my knees were literally shaking! Who wouldn’t when among my audience were the French and Cambodian consul general and citizens of CLMV (Cambodia, Laos, Myanmar, and Viet Nam)!

4. My love for writing started with pen palling when I was in grade 4 — during the time when email or sms was unheard of yet. There was this colorful and interesting DECS magazine, I picked up a poem writer who indicated her full postal address, and wrote her – and we started exchanging mails for 2-3 years. Turns out she was a school principal hahahaha! She asked all her students to write me as well – like a school requirement! I became famous at our post office that time — who gets 30+ mails in one day in our small town of Naawan! Only me! That’s how I practiced my writing skills in the early days!

5. I’m “feet-ish”! I’ve always envied my father’s feet! It’s so white and clean! And so starting in high school and until now, I always wear socks when I sleep, I always take time to pamper it (with pedicure and foot scrubs!), hoping that it will help beautify my feet! Now, I love my clean, white and small feet! Size 4-5!

6. I started wearing glasses when I was in grade 5 (among us 6 siblings, 4 wears glasses!)…Now, I have three pairs – one for home, 2 for office use I cannot stand using computer or watching tv or movie without my glasses – I can see but without them, I’ll have a terrible headache in a sec!

7. The first time I got real drunk was during one of UPLB Kaiban’s friday gimmicks! It happened in one of Pansol’s resorts, the brods were supposed to be drinking while the sisses take a dip in the pool – but the other way happened, the sisses took over the drinking while the brods watched over — an alumni brought a big supply of drinks and we were having a great time talking, singing, drinking, and later on, throwing up! The next thing I know – it was already morning! I totally passed out! I am actually grateful of that experience – one taste of hang over and that’s it! It was an experience worth experiencing – thanks Kaiban! You’re simply the best org!

8. According to my parents, I was made in UPLB! Literally! Hahahaha! Guess that’s why I’ve always dreamt of studying there ever since I first set foot of the place when I was still 5 years old — attending my father’s PhD graduation!

9. I’m addicted to Neozep! Yup, that green and white tablet! Give me neozep for a simple or worst cold and I’ll be fine! In fact, I usually take an overdose for a better effect! It makes me dizzy, it makes me drowsy, it makes me high and I simply love it! Bad, huh?

10. ***** (After two days of posting this blog, I decided to change item 10 — it elicited numerous questions and reactions, which I’d rather not answer hehehe! So for # 10…) My parents call all of us in the family Langga — short for Palangga, which means Love in our dialect Bisaya. When my non-pinoy (ex) bf learned this, he started calling me the same, and continue to do so even after we broke up! Grrrr…or sheeeshhhh…? I should remind him what the word means, huh?

Now, that’s some insights about me! Take it up Czille, Andrei, Hideaki, Teryox, Melanie, Justin and Ann!

I wanted to write something interesting, but instead I found myself staring at the monitor for quite sometime and started humming one of my fave songs….On My Own.

Then I was back down memory lane…back in my high school alma mater, outside the MSU IIT gym, practicing our lines and moves for Les Miserables! No! Stop — before you start wowing and imagining of a grand musicale, it was just a class requirement, it’s not even a ‘high school musical’ event!

I hope my memory won’t fail me – there was myself, Ann, Sharon, Kelly, Vannie Joy, Michelle S., She, Franklin and Sherwin (bitaw nakalimot naman ko – I asked Ann’s help in recalling the names and events of this memorable group work!). Since there was no internet yet that time, and no one in our group actually read the novel of Victor Hugo – what we did was to listen to the songs, and based on the lyrics – tried to come up with storyline! (When I read the novel two years later — I found out that indeed we had our story all wrong! Hahahaha!). Anyway – the nine of us had to play multiple roles along the play…

Here are some unforgettable moments in that play:

I played the kid Cosette – perfect choice because I was the smallest in the group! I remember singing Castle on the Cloud in my smallest tiniest cutest voice ever!

My bestfriends Sharon was my mom Eponine, while Ann was the young Cosette – who fell in-love with Marius (played by another bestfriend Kelly!).

Ann reminded me a few minutes ago that she will never forget the duet she had with Kelly — nope, their voice blending was far from perfect – blame it to Ann! They were supposed to be in-love but they were fighting all the time in the “set” – they cannot get that perfect mood of being ‘lovers’, nor can they get that perfect tune!!

Before Kelly played Marius – he played the priest who helped Jean Valjean (Franklin) escaped from being imprisoned again. Remember how Franklin tried to finish eating the bread fast because he has to sing? And then somehow, the bread got stuck in his upper mouth???

Or how Vaniyoy (Vannie Joy) – who was supposed to play dead soldier – suddenly got up in the middle of play and ran backstage??? Ann said an ant bit Vaniyoy…but from what I remember – Vaniyoy stood up because she thought the scene was already finished! Hehehe!

Michelle S. was one person in our batch who almost everybody ‘feared’ (I can’t find the best word Sinang!), she just looks so daunting, unapproachable and maldita – but in that time we spent with her practicing, we all found out that she is actually a nice and fun person! Just don’t get on her bad side – isog kaayo na sya! Sinang and She played the Thernardier couple (the one who adopted me, lil Cosette)…She is the exact opposite of Sinang! She is every bit approachable, cuddly, friendly and ever smiling! We simply adore her! Sherwin, on the other hand, was the constant soldier in that play…

We spent several Saturdays and Sundays in school – to practice the play. But in reality, it was actually just an excuse to hang out with friends on weekends! I’ve always considered our third year in high school the best! Instead of practicing our lines, there we were busily chatting, playing, and singing other songs!!!

But nonetheless, the songs of Les Mis stayed in my mind and heart…two songs especially…On my Own and I dreamed a Dream….

ON MY OWN

And now I’m all alone again Nowhere to turn, no one to go to. Without a home, without a friend without a face to say hello to But now the night is near And I can make-believe he’s here Sometimes I walk alone at night When everybody else is sleeping I think of him and then I’m happy With the company I’m keeping The city goes to bed And I can live inside my head On my own Pretending he’s beside me All alone I walk with him ’til morning Without him, I feel his arms around me And when I lose my way, I close my eyes and he has found me In the rain The pavement shines like silver All the lights are misty in the river In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight And all I see is him and me forever and forever And I know it’s only in my mind That I’m talking to myself and not to him And although I know that he is blind Still I say there’s a way for us I love him But when the night is over He is gone The river’s just a river Without him, the world around me changes The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers I love him But every day I’m lonely All my life I’ve only been pretending Without me, his world will go on turning The world is full of happiness that I have never known I love him I love him I love him… But only on my own…

I DREAMED A DREAM

There was a time when men were kind When their voices were soft And their words inviting There was a time when love was blind And the world was a song And the song was exciting There was a time Then it all went wrong I dreamed a dream in time gone by When hope was high And life worth living I dreamed that love would never die I dreamed that God would be forgiving Then I was young and unafraid And dreams were made and used and wasted There was no ransom to be paid No song unsung, no wine untasted But the tigers come at night With their voices soft as thunder As they tear your hope apart And they turn your dream to shame He slept a summer by my side He filled my days with endless wonder He took my childhood in his stride But he was gone when autumn came And still I dream he’ll come to me That we will live the years together But there are dreams that cannot be And there are storms we cannot weather I had a dream my life would be So different from this hell I’m living So different now from what it seemed Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

Often we cling unto something or someone that’s not there anymore, or that’s not really necessary or important… or that has not been there at all in the first place.

Why?

Something…

Why do we hold on to dear possessions? Or why do we collect garbage, so to say? Why is it that people have a passion for saving every little thing that serves as proof of something? Proof that you have been to that some place. A memento of a friendship shared. A keepsake of a special event in one’s life. And so on and so forth…

I’ve been through several phases in this urge to collect reminders…I once collected stones – a stone from Taal Volcano, a pebble from Brighton beach I picked up one winter morning, a heart shaped rock given to me by my nephew…

I have also amassed a cabinet full of photographs! This has stopped though when I acquired my digicam…I remember when I took a summer vacation in Goldcoast Australia for 5 days with my Melbourne best friends — would you believed we managed to finished 12 rolls of films in that five days? And yes – we printed each and every photo! (I think I ended up with 3 thick albums of photos for that trip alone!). 

Every time I visit a new country, the first thing I buy is a souvenir…a fridge magnet, a shot glass with the name of the country, a mug, a t-shirt, just about anything…

What else do we collect? What else do we keep in our closets? In our cupboards? Old clothes (why don’t we donate it?!?), old books (I still see some of the books I used to read when I was still in grade school!), old blankets (I still have my pink blanket – a present from my Mama when I was still in 1^st year high school!), etc etc etc etc…

Why are they still in our possessions? Why do we hold on to them? Why do we collect them in the first place?

Things are things — but I guess it really has something to do with the memory that comes with that thing…It reminds us of one beautiful day in the beach, of a touching moment with our mom, of a wonderful fun-filled times with our dearest friends, or an exploration of a new country, a new adventure…the list could go on and on. But it will always go back to that point — the memories makes those things, those collections, those so-called garbage, such precious objects. That’s why we cling to them. That’s why we cannot afford to throw them away…

Does the same theory hold true for SOMEONE?

Someone…

Clinging unto someone is a different story. Often, we cling unto someone that’s not there anymore…or worst has not been there at all in the first place.

Why? Could it also be because of memories?

First case: Why do we dwell on memories of a past love for as long as we can? Why do we keep on musing on things that has been long gone? I could go with my list of whys…But why?

Sometimes I ask God if it is possible to just erase someone from my thoughts. You see, it’s also wearing to dwell on someone for so long – when you know all along that that someone is not thinking of you anymore or does not even bother to find out how you are. Or just doesn’t care any longer.

It doesn’t matter how long or how short you have been together – but when that person has impacted your life — there’s no running away from it. You are bound to be thinking of that person, of that time, of the memories – may they be good or bad – for as long as you can — that is, until you are ready to move on…you are ready to let go…

Second case: I guess I am not and the only first person who has build castles in the clouds…This is what I meant when I wrote about clinging unto someone that does not even exist…(pathetic, huh!).

I met this person and in that short time we were together —  I was too quick in creating “our castle” and in fact, in a matter of days – the castle was almost ready for occupancy! Hahaha, what a way of describing it!?! But truth be told — after a few days, I realized that I was meant to live in that castle alone…There was no “we” — it was all “I’s”. But then, why again, did I do that do? Was it because I thought there was something into it? Was it because it gave me a sense of security? Of belongingness? Or did I assume too much? I was holding on to that short time, making something out of it, hoping against all hopes of a future together etc etc. Too much novels, too much dreaming Ivy!

Yet, for all these, why do people hold on to people? I believe – it all goes back to memories again. People are just nostalgic by nature. It also has to do with the person —the type of person. There are people we met and forget the minute we pass them by. But there are also people who just don’t seem to disappear from our minds, from our lives. That means – it’s more than memories…it’s impressions, it’s feelings, it’s emotions, it all has to do with everything we attach to that person.

Have I made that same effect to someone? Is someone also clinging unto me? I can think of one…two…three….Here I go again, assuming for my dear life! J

** I did try throwing away some of my collections.  I had to. There was no more space in my dresser. But I had to think long and hard, I had to reminisce every single memory attached to it before I could finally put it in a rubbish bin or drop it in the Salvation Army container. The same holds true for people. In our life, we have to put away ‘old” people so we can invite other people in. I know our heart is big enough to accommodate everybody — but I guess you already know what I mean by this…you have to let go of someone, before you can start holding on to another one….

It passed like a blur. Hectic, busy, tiring…(That’s why I wasn’t able to write any blogs lately! So this is an overdue entry…)

The Birth Day

I was up all night – blame it to insomnia! And it didn’t help either when my mobile phone was noisy when the birthday greetings started coming in right after midnight (thanks to friends who are probably insomniac too!). Mama’s call and everybody’s chatter at home at 7am woke me up…I talked with everybody – Mama, Papa, Cecile, Augie and Dodoye and it made me a bit homesick…just tried to laugh especially when Papa teased me about my age…

It was a busy day at the office, there were several meetings scheduled and luckily I was not part of any of the meetings. So I stayed in my corner and kept myself busy with paperworks. We all went to Thamnak Thai for Jon’s farewell lunch (our Canadian colleague who finished his term with AF already) and while everyone was happily enjoying the Thai food and busy chatting — I was thinking, will my first birthday here in Jakarta passed by without anyone even personally greeting me?? Hmmmm…All of the sudden, out of nowhere, a waitress brought a cake (with 2 candles!!!) and everybody started singing!! Including the waiters and waitresses!! Wahhhh — it was one of the best surprises indeed!!  I was nearly moved to tears but hey, no crying on this day!! For that, I’d like to thank all my officemates especially Citra (I know you were behind all these dear!)…

The rest of the day passed by like any ordinary day – meetings and more paper works…That night as I tried to sleep, I couldn’t help but shed some tears — hey, it’s not easy to be all alone on your birthday day, alone in the small room, with just the remote control for company!! It occurred to me then that it has been yearssss since I last celebrated birthday with my family — I missed that…

The Weekend

My first weekend adventure with Citra and Yudhi! A trip to Mangga Dua – to check laptops and a visit to Seaworld – to see the sea?? Hehehehe…It was fun, the computer freak in Yudhi made him excited and animated being just in the vicinity of the Mangga Dua Mall while Citra and I were more excited at the thought of going to Ancol (Jakarta Bay’s City)…we were really looking forward to taking pictures! I got a bit homesick when we went to the beach — truly and honestly I missed home.(Perhaps I’ll write another blog for this…so better wait for the details of this trip on my next blog…)

I woke up quite late the next day (too tired from the previous day’s activities) and missed church – the first time. Around 10am, a friend dropped by to give a late birthday present — guess what it was??? An indoor antenna!! Hahahaha — what a very practical gift, huh? You wonder why? World Cup is not broadcast over cable tv because a local tv station got exclusive coverage…so to watch all World Cup matches, you have to forget your cable tv and plug on the indoor antenna! This is what I get for always complaining about missing the matches — now, I got this “great” gift!! Wahhh – next time I should complain of other things, huh??

But thanks…it has been a great experience watching the games (at least, on “insomnia” nights, as most games are around midnight or dawn, – there’s something good on tv!). Besides, it’s fun watching guys running after and kicking the ball, trying to make a goal, all in two hours or more hehehehe – that’s the most basic rule of the football, my definition that is!!). Now that World Cup is over – what should I do with the antenna? Return it and ask for an exchange?? Hmmm – good idea…

Anyway, that afternoon, I took my first bus ride (alone!). I know it is nothing of great importance but for me it was quite a daring first move!! Read my previous blog for that…

The Days That Followed

The weeks that followed were quite hectic. Going over the draft annual report word by word, line by line, page by page took so much of my time. I hate copy editing – I’m not good at seeing little details (I’d rather see the big picture than the little dot!). Hopefully, the finish product (which will be delivered tomorrow) won’t have that many corrections (crossing my fingersss!!).

Aside from this, there were several project reports and proposals which has to be reviewed – asap. These have been pending for several months (due to staff turn-over) and so, we (the new staff) are trying to respond immediately to all follow-ups/queries regarding the project reports/proposals. In addition, my immediate supervisor was scheduled to take her week-long annual leave and thus, I have to take responsibility for all the projects while she is gone.

Then there’s that Chinese Language Training which will be held in Beijing next month and which we are still preparing — out of 40 expected nominations from all the 10 ASEAN member countries, we received 18 only. So I have to call some people and follow-up on this — either I can’t contact them OR they don’t speak English OR the connection is bad!! Wahhhh, very frustrating! As for those nominated participants, I had to call them (if they haven’t replied my email) and asked them to email their CV…Know what they usually asked me?? “Will you please speak in Mandarin/Chinese?” Hahahahaha….I deserved that! Here I am arranging this training and contacting people who are all Chinese speakers – and I can’t speak even a single Chinese word!!!  (In one of the meetings with our boss regarding this training, he was discussing who should go to Beijing for project monitoring and asked if anyone of us speak Mandarin??? Hehehehehe – no one!! So, who should go then??)

If I enumerate all the things I did – the list could go on and on and on. In fact, everyday, I made it a point to make a checklist of things that needed to be accomplished! Yup, a long daily reminder! One time I left the list on my desk and it was a great move, a good idea! Because the next day – in my desk I saw piles of papers from my boss! These papers have been with him for days! Perhaps he saw my list (and timeline) and remembered all the pending papers I gave him days before. I should do this more often, huh?

Indeed, it has been a very busy week. We start at 8.30am and supposed to go home by 4.30pm but we all stay until 6 or 7pm. Very tired at the end of the day…but I guess I prefer this rather than being idle. If I’m tired then more likely I’ll fall asleep and skipped another insomnia night. If my days are full, then I won’t have idle time to think of other worries and problems…and avoid getting homesick. That’s the other side of being busy…

When I started this blog, I was listening to some music I recently copied in my laptop and one line of the song which I thought I should use to end this entry is…

When you’re close to tear, remember someday it will all be over…

(High…lighthouse family)

It means many things — whatever concern, whatever worries, whatever problems you have in your life now – someday it will soon be over…There is a time for everything…even a time for crying…so don’t hold back those tears…If you are busy today, someday you will be rewarded with a day with nothing to do…and so on and so forth…

Bajaj, Metro Mini, Kopaja, Transjakarta busway…these are the usual means of public transportation in Jakarta (that is if you don’t have a car or don’t want to spend all your money on taxis).

Bajaj (read: bajay) is that old rusty orange "tricycle" that brings you right to your door. I remembered my first week here in Jakarta - I was so scared of taking the bajaj for fear of tetanus!! But despite its hideous appearance – it is probably one of the most expensive items in my budget. I have to shell out Rp 5,000 or P25 for a short ride (that’s the minimum fee friends!). Thanks to bajaj – I was forced to learn my first bahasa words (I have to learn to say directions!!) – so there’s my kanan (yup, that’s right like in Filipino), kiri (left), turus/trus (straight ahead, continue), mingir or stop…Proud, huh?? If and when the driver starts talking, I just nod my head as if I understood and stick to saying kanan, kiri and mingir!#@! (I don’t want them to know I’m a foreigner in this country, for they might charge me higher!)

Transjakarta, on the other hand, is Jakarta’s equivalent to LRT/MRT. It’s just an ordinary bus with a special lane! There are "halte busway" or bus stops – like a train station, you pay Rp 3,500 no matter which station you want to get out. It’s supposed not to get stuck in traffic considering that it has its own lane BUT friends, no one is spared from traffic here in Jakarta! I used to take taxi every time I go to church on Sunday – that’s around Rp 12-15,000 (depending on traffic), so compared to Transjakarta’s Rp 3,500, that is expensive! There is a Transjakarta station or halte busway in front of the church, but it took me a month before I got the courage to try it. It was not that difficult actually because I just have to pay in the counter and wait for my stop and I don’t have to say anything!! Now, I could say I’m very comfortable with this mode of transportation (I just hate to take the very high steps!).

And lastly, the Kopaja or the Metro Mini. That’s a medium size bus, quite old, non-aircon and often overflowing with people – it’s the "poor man’s bus". I have taken this thrice with a friend and I told her that I really want to try it on my own one day. She discouraged me and said I should just stick to Transjakarta or take the taxi. You pay Rp 2,000 no matter where your destination is — cheaper than Transjakarta (but deal and suffer the heat, the pollution and the sweaty people heheheh! not to mention the pickpockets). It took me eight months!! Yup – eight months, to overcome my fear and try the Kopaja! Last Sunday, I was waiting for a taxi but when a kopaja passed by, I changed my mind and hailed it. I was every bit scared but I try not to let it show. I sat in a corner, gave my Rp 2,000 without saying a word and waited for my stop…and when I got off the bus?? I was in heaven!!

It’s a great feeling. To be able to conquer one’s fear and learn the ways of life of the city… That first bajaj, first transjakarta and most recently, the first kopaja ride gave me a certain amount of courage to try other things in this new city. I feel as if I am ready now for go beyond my comfort zone and explore the city more…

I don’t believe in horoscopes but when I read my horoscope (in friendster!) – it made me relate to my commuting experience in this city. My horoscope says "You’re given a chance to stretch your wings. It’s scary, but that’s a good thing." It further states, “remember when you rode your bike without training wheels for the first time? The feeling was exhilarating, liberating — and a bit terrifying. Someone will offer you a way to take the figurative training wheels off something you’ve been practicing for a while. You are ready for this test, and even if you’re a little scared, don’t let it show. Your bravado is all you need to pull this one off. And just like that first solo bike ride, after the first few minutes, it will be totally fun!"

Indeed — the exploration will be lots of fun!! (just pray I won’t get lost !)

**there’s another mode of public transpo I missed to mentioned – the "ojek" – that’s a motorcycle (single!)…I have no plan to try this – as I am terrified and never ride motor bikes!! There’s also the train — great if you take the Executive Class but terrible if you take the Economy Class…

I bet anyone who sees this title and not read the entire entry will pick up the phone and call me!

This was the topic of today’s church sermon. The elder (Pastor) asked everyone to say it loud and with feeling: I AM GOING TO DIE!! And then everyone laughed…

What is this all about? The sermon was about preparing for one’s demise. Death is a fact of life and we should be prepared for its eventuality. The bible text used was the story of Joseph and Jacob. They left their family specific instructions how to prepare their burial site when they felt that they are about to die. In this time and age, do we do this? Yes, look around us: business on death insurance is booming, so is the selling of cemetery space/lots. But how do we really feel about all this?

I remember my father’s story. He has a close friend who sells death insurance and this friend tried to sell him a policy. My father got really offended — Are you trying to kill me? I guess that what’s on the mind of my father. He didn’t like the idea of buying one BUT actually, he already bought a family plot in the cemetery!! In fact, last time I was home, he had our "memorial plot" fenced already. He said our “neighbors” there are so and so – close family friends! It will be like a grand reunion for all friends during all souls day! Ironic, huh? Mama hates it, but Papa said – it’s prepared and ready to be use. Hahahaha…

Personally, I don’t like it. I hate thinking of anyone dying. I know all of us will die – death is our end. Still, I don’t like even just the thought of it. But the other side of death is life in heaven! Should we not look forward to it then? We were all taught that the after life is much much better than life on earth. Thus, we should not think of death as the end of it all but the start of a wonderful beginning…

Well, that is if we have been good…right?

I woke up to the ringing of the mobile phone beside me: time 7am. Who would be calling at such hour, and on Saturday? When I picked it up I heard my father’s voice.

“Langga, how are you? Did you sleep well? Mama is worried, you are often sick there…”

For the past three nights I asked Papa to do distance pranic healing on me because I haven’t been feeling well. I have cough and colds, a slight fever and muscle pain. The week before, I was in the hospital and saw an internist for medical check-up. Given all these, I am not surprised that my mother would be worried. All mothers worry over even slight fever! Mama is afraid I’m under too much stress, that I’m working too hard and not going out and having fun anymore (parents used to worry about their kids going out too often, but it’s the opposite when we get older! They’re afraid we become anti-social and stay home all the time!). I told Mama I was in church retreat just last week and so this week, I plan to just rest.

Anyway, I felt real good with the call. I miss my family. I especially miss just talking with my parents. A few days ago, I was chatting with papa (yup, I taught them to use yahoo messenger so we can chat regularly!) and considering how “old” people hates talking using keyboard, papa asked me to call him. So I did and for 30 minutes I just listened to what he has to say. There are some issues papa wanted my opinion of – I love it when he do this, I feel mature and grown up! I mean most people are at awe at my father – we often say he is a real ‘pilosopo’ – a philosopher, not only because he has a PhD but more because he often has answer to everything! So when he asked for my opinion — I feel “honored”.

Back to that Saturday morning call – I realized that I miss Saturday mornings at home. It has been ages since I woke up to the knock in my door, Papa telling me breakfast is ready. Over hot pandesal (bread) and coffee, we would talk about anything – Saturday breakfast can last up to 2 hours sometimes. Afterwards, its time for gardening or just cleaning our wide lawn/garden — when everybody is all dirty and sweaty – we all head up to the beach and go for a swim (just 3-5 minutes walk from home!). Now, you can see why I miss home…wahhhh!

“Drink lots of water or juice Langga. Not powder but fresh juice! Bye for now, tennis time..”…That’s my father – the tennis buff.

So off they go and me??? Have to get up and contemplate what to do this weekend…

God certainly works in wonderful ways…

Just when I badly needed HIM — He provided the opportunity of surrounding me with fellow Christians, to study His words, to meet new friends, and to exert some energy through games…

Thurs - While everybody was enjoying their holiday, I was all alone in the office, working. Yup! Working…I did watched the American Idol Finals first, then around 10am, left for the office. Missed lunch and worked til late afternoon…

Fri - I went to Rumah Sakit Abdi Waluyo for a medical check-up. I have been feeling sick for a couple of days already and was getting worried. Wahhh…went there at 8am, waited for the internist until 12 noon! At least, I have my check-up, lessen my worry, and have a new set of meds to take!!

Anyway, as I’ve earlier mentioned, God works in wonderful ways. He made sure the doctor arrive before 1pm so I could join my friend Simon and wife Erlina to a church retreat…

The Church Retreat

– the place –

The English Worship Service (EWS) retreat was held in Pinewood Hotel, Puncak. To avoid the traffic jam, we left Jakarta at around 2pm and was there in an hour! That was fast! First impression of the place??? WOW>>> the best place indeed for a spiritual retreat!

The hotel is soooo homey…it’s not your typical hotel, so impersonal and all, instead Pinewood makes you feel like you are home. The decors are like decors your mom choose! Very nice…

Add to that is the wonderful mountain scenery of Puncak! All mountains, pine trees, flowers, and yeah, lots of cute dogs (the owner’s dogs!). The fog makes the place romantic and relaxing…

– new friends –

I was introduced to so many people that I couldn’t remember all their names, but in the course of the retreat — I did managed to established new friendships and listen to great testimonies of God’s work…

I’m truly grateful for Simon and Erlina for inviting me to this great gathering…

I’m so happy I met a fellow pinay Abegail, I got to talked in Filipino/Tagalog in 3 days!

My prayer group: Pak Frankie, Fan2x and husband Thomas, Pak Gunawan and wife Tina, Abg, Wenny and Bobby, Ev Faith, Delon…The two other girls I was busy chatting and taking pix with: Wina and Sunita, and all those other members of the EWS who truly made me feel like a member of the family…Thanks to all you guys!

– the sessions –

The 3-day, 2-night retreat was filled with activities…the sessions were great and helpful: The Power of Knowledge in Shaping Life; Do my Belief Affects my Way of Thinking and Living; Reposses my Precious Time; 6 Purposes of Life I mUst Have; Strategy to Won Battles of My Life; and lastly3 Beliefs I must Have…

The talks and testimonies truly helped in my strengthening my faith and belief in God…

"Temptations is unavoidable, but it need not give birth to sin. You can’t stop the birds from flying over your head but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair…" Martin Luther

The pattern of life? Thoughts —> Actions —-> Habit —> Attitude —-> Lifestyle —-> Seals your destiny! Thus, one should control each thought. You can control your thoughts…

If today is the last day of your life, how would you live differently?

"You can be like an elevator…you can either bring people up or you can bring them down…"

What do you want written on your tombstone?

Never do anything out of revenge…revenge is not ours!

These are just some of the things discussed in the sessions…

It was indeed the best long weekend of my stay here in Jakarta…